Monday, October 14, 2024

The unforgotten

“Can you do a graveside service for my mother?” asked a stranger over the phone.

His mother and father had been members of Baptist Temple during their empty nest years and into their senior adulthood. When his father died, his mom joined a Sunday School class of older widows, who looked after one another.

After a few years, her son moved Mom to an assisted living facility in Dallas, near where he now lived. For over ten years, her Sunday school class sent greeting cards on her birthday and other holidays. He was blessed that Baptist Temple had not forgotten his mother.

She was to be buried next to her husband in San Antonio. Her funeral had been in Dallas, but her family deemed it appropriate that her church, who had not forgotten her, say a few words at her graveside.

It is easy to forget our elderly church members who can no longer attend worship services. Maintaining contact requires conscious effort. Many churches appoint a team to minister to home-bound members and those in assisted living. In smaller churches one or more deacons take on that ministry. Phone calls, greeting cards and the church newsletter maintain the lines of communication.

Not all absentees are elderly. “I used to be very active in my church,” a sharply dressed businesswoman once told me.

She and husband were part of a very active church social group but, when her husband became ill, they were unable to participate in the group’s social activities. As his condition worsened, she stayed at home to care for him. Following his death, her focus became running the family business and church became part of the past.

I am certain that many churches have similar stories. We must do better. Deacons, Bible study teachers, and small group leaders are on the front lines on ministry and, therefore, best positioned to keep watch over the sheep. Moses divided people into groups of ten, giving each group a capable spiritual leader, ensuring the highest quality care. Each person under a church’s ministry ought to have someone who will miss them when they are absent, who will notice when they have a problem, who will walk alongside them when they are hurting and be able to help.

Not all absentees are hurting. One couple, who had stopped attending church and Bible study, weren’t facing troubled times. They had lost interest and found it easier to stay home. Their Bible study class stayed in touch, however, sending them monthly invitations to social events (people are usually not offended by party invitations). After almost a year, the couple showed up at an ice cream social and subsequently returned to church.

Jesus taught us, in the parable of the lost sheep, the importance of even one person. Let no one be forgotten. Phone calls, texts, and emails are free. Not everyone appreciates contact but erring on the side of being annoying to a prickly person, is better than letting a lonely person be forgotten.

No comments: