The unforgotten

“Can you do a graveside service for my mother?” asked a stranger over the phone.

His mother and father had been members of Baptist Temple during their empty nest years and into their senior adulthood. When his father died, his mom joined a Sunday School class of older widows, who looked after one another.

After a few years, her son moved Mom to an assisted living facility in Dallas, near where he now lived. For over ten years, her Sunday school class sent greeting cards on her birthday and other holidays. He was blessed that Baptist Temple had not forgotten his mother.

She was to be buried next to her husband in San Antonio. Her funeral had been in Dallas, but her family deemed it appropriate that her church, who had not forgotten her, say a few words at her graveside.

It is easy to forget our elderly church members who can no longer attend worship services. Maintaining contact requires conscious effort. Many churches appoint a team to minister to home-bound members and those in assisted living. In smaller churches one or more deacons take on that ministry. Phone calls, greeting cards and the church newsletter maintain the lines of communication.

Not all absentees are elderly. “I used to be very active in my church,” a sharply dressed businesswoman once told me.

She and husband were part of a very active church social group but, when her husband became ill, they were unable to participate in the group’s social activities. As his condition worsened, she stayed at home to care for him. Following his death, her focus became running the family business and church became part of the past.

I am certain that many churches have similar stories. We must do better. Deacons, Bible study teachers, and small group leaders are on the front lines on ministry and, therefore, best positioned to keep watch over the sheep. Moses divided people into groups of ten, giving each group a capable spiritual leader, ensuring the highest quality care. Each person under a church’s ministry ought to have someone who will miss them when they are absent, who will notice when they have a problem, who will walk alongside them when they are hurting and be able to help.

Not all absentees are hurting. One couple, who had stopped attending church and Bible study, weren’t facing troubled times. They had lost interest and found it easier to stay home. Their Bible study class stayed in touch, however, sending them monthly invitations to social events (people are usually not offended by party invitations). After almost a year, the couple showed up at an ice cream social and subsequently returned to church.

Jesus taught us, in the parable of the lost sheep, the importance of even one person. Let no one be forgotten. Phone calls, texts, and emails are free. Not everyone appreciates contact but erring on the side of being annoying to a prickly person, is better than letting a lonely person be forgotten.

Five reasons why outreach to seniors is a good idea

One of the strengths of Baptist Temple is our Seniors. We have a group of people over 60 who are mature in Christ and ready to serve. Over the last ten years they have been the force behind our community ministries and building and grounds maintenance. On Sundays they lead in worship, hospitality, Sunday school and more.

Church outreach programs tend to ignore this particular demographic in favor of married couples with young children. That can be a big mistake. Seniors still have much to give and are looking for greater challenges. When Caleb was 85 years old he made this declaration to Joshua:

“Now then, just as the LORD promised, he has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the desert. So here I am today, eighty-five years old! I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me this hill country that the LORD promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the LORD helping me, I will drive them out just as he said.” (Joshua 14:10-12)

Here are five reasons why outreach to Seniors is a good idea:

1. There's a lot of them. In 2006, Baby Boomers started turning 60. This is the largest age demographic in America, numbering 76 million. San Antonio (the location of Baptist Temple) will experience a “silver tsunami” as seniors from around the nation will be moving in ever increasing numbers to this desired retirement location.
2. Longer Lives. Seniors are living longer and are more active than past generations.
3. Experience. Many are experienced church members who are generous with their time, treasure and talents. They bring the knowledge, skills and finances needed to support church programs.
4. Availability. Retired folks have time on their hands and most are eager to make a difference.
5. Ministry field. Some seniors live in poverty. Social Security and other benefits are not enough to provide for their needs. Some are lonely and isolated. Many are unchurched. This is a ripe field for ministries of caring and evangelism.

It is important to bear in mind that the term Senior includes a wide range of ages. People who are a decade or more apart in age have different needs. Another important factor is that many who are past 70 do not want to drive at night but have plenty of daylight hours available.

Ministry to and with Seniors has great potential. This generation of American Christians has been given more affluence, education, time, and opportunity to serve God on earth than any other. How can the church maximize this gift from God.

A church for all generations

Some churches in America are comprised of essentially a single generation. Some become this way through changing neighborhood demographics and others intentionally target an age group for a new church start. The religious establishment encourages targeted evangelism as an effective means of church growth and the popular target is usually the under 40 crowd. In fact, if you reach people under 40 in large enough numbers you will be admired by your peers and celebrated by the religious establishment. You can write a book and hold seminars.

Churches that are primarily composed of people over 60 are perceived to be dying and many actually are. Emerging leaders often lack the patience to communicate with these churches and are frustrated when their advice is not taken. While it's true that many over 60 fail to see a need for change, many under 40 fail to see the unintended consequences that change can bring. Both sides of the generational divide must reach across the aisle and work together for the sake of the gospel.

Senior adults built our church buildings and invested their lives in ministry. They deserve respect. Their presence and wisdom are valuable.

Young adults deserve to be heard as well. They have much to offer, including insights on reaching others their age. Many young pastors lament the fact that their generation has no place in the established church.

Thriving churches have children running around and adults of all ages working and worshiping together. At some point thriving churches decide to intentionally place the gospel above personal preferences. At some point thriving churches learn that church is more than the right name and a cherished worship style. At some point thriving churches shift their focus away from self and toward God and the world he loved so much that he sent His only son to save it.

Ministering to the homebound

Do not cast me away when I am old;

do not forsake me when my strength is gone.

Psalm 71:9 (NIV)

Every so often we see a news report where an elderly person is found dead in their home; sometimes weeks after the death. Many elderly people live at or below the poverty level in our inner cities. Some in apartments and mobile home parks and others in the homes they bought when it was a “nice neighborhood.”

Some are lonely and live in fear, prisoners in their own homes. Many of these elderly were once active in church but now have been forgotten. This is an opportunity for churches to step up and show God’s love. Inner city churches can mobilize communities to check on their neighbors and use available government resources to improve the mental and physical health of our “grandparents.”

Read more here about how a church can become involved: Ministering to the homebound